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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26987683">Totoshi</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/dhiskey/pseuds/k_e_i'>k_e_i (dhiskey)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Awkward morning after, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Idol AU, M/M, UshiOi Week 2020</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 23:02:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,628</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26987683</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/dhiskey/pseuds/k_e_i</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Oikawa and Ushijima are two idols, stage names: Toto and Toshi. Their fans ship them eagerly, despite them being in open rivalry (at least from Oikawa's point of view) referring to them as "Totoshi".<br/>Their agents, Kuroo and Suga, think it's a good idea to feed their fans' fantasies.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Oikawa Tooru/Ushijima Wakatoshi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>100</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Totoshi</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>UshiOi Week 2020 | Day 1: fake dating</p><p>Inspired by the thirteenth fanart in this page: <a href="https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/54963116?fbclid=IwAR2bjQpevDFn4-rkMdUj00aOHLBdKpNbwSWqcOYOgAbeI9tDwRQVFzua79g">link</a></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Oikawa opened his eyes to a room he did not know, wrapped in sheets he did not know, on an incredibly soft bed (which he did not know).</p><p>“<i>Shit</i>.” He snorted, fluttering a tuft of hair still smeared with hairspray.<br/>
He lifted the sheets, peering under: no clothes. Not that he needed such a clue to guess the nocturnal activities he undertook with the homeowner, given the vivid memory he had of them and the general soreness. He hoped at least not to have too visible signs on himself, that afternoon he had a fan meeting and rehearsals.</p><p>Damn Suga and his perverse ideas, he cursed to himself, getting up from that giant bed and looking for something to cover himself with. His eye fell on a black T-shirt abandoned on the back of a swivel chair. He lifted it, sniffing it cautiously, then shrugged and slipped it on.<br/>
He looked at himself in the wall mirror, wrinkling his nose. He looked like he came out of one of those ridiculous fanfics he'd read one night with Iwa-chan and a bottle of vodka. At the time he had laughed about it, without imagining that those absurd scenarios would become his personal hell.</p><p>It was all his agent’s fault, Suga. He would strangle him as soon as he saw him again.</p><p> </p><p>• • •</p><p> </p><p>“Kou-chan, did you hit your head somewhere by accident?”</p><p>Suga's dazzling smile didn't fade in the slightest. Indeed, his expression almost seemed to grow more enthusiastic about the unhealthy idea he had just illustrated to the two idols.</p><p>“The meaning of all this escapes me too, Sugawara-san.” That starched ape of Ushiwaka joined in, blinking stupidly.<br/>
Seriously, how did his fans love him? He was beautiful, he couldn't deny it, but he had the expressiveness of a tin can!</p><p>“Let me simplify it.” Kuroo, Ushijima's agent, spoke. “Toto, Toshi, as you well know your fans have built a whole series of fantasies and theories about your rivalry.”</p><p>Oikawa, aka Toto, owed everything to his fans; without them, without the support they gave him day after day, he would never have become a famous and successful idol. Yet over the years he had never managed to understand what they found in wanting at all costs to imagine who knows what secret bond between him and Ushijima, aka Toshi.<br/>
He wasn't stupid or naive, he knew full well that fans' number one hobby was fantasizing about their favorites, but in their case there was just not a shred of foundation to build upon. He hated Ushiwaka, damn it! And he certainly didn't keep it a secret.</p><p>“<i>Totoshi</i>.” Suga suggested.</p><p>“Mmh?”</p><p>“That's the name of the ship: Totoshi.”</p><p>“Yeah, right.” Kuroo commented, holding back a little giggle. “Anyway, as I was saying, Sugawara and I thought it would be worth riding the wave, giving your fans some little... satisfaction.”</p><p>“You've both lost your minds if you think I can be together with this one for just a little more fame!” Oikawa blurted out indignantly.</p><p>“It's certainly not about getting together, Tooru-kun, just about being a little ambiguous, if you pass me the term; maybe some dates where photographers can see you, vague answers to interviews with tabloids and gossip magazines ... things like that, nothing special!”</p><p>Nothing special, of course. It was easy for him to say!</p><p>“Absolutely not!”</p><p> </p><p>• • •</p><p> </p><p>Oikawa didn't remember exactly how he came to agree to lend himself to that farce, but Suga was the kind of agent who wouldn't give up until he got what he wanted. It was both his greatest strength and his worst flaw.</p><p>Well, maybe it wasn't <i>entirely</i> his fault that the "intimate" dinner in one of Tokyo's most paparazzi-infested venue ended with some wild sex, said an irritating, out of place little voice in his head.<br/>
Of course it was Suga's fault! If it hadn't been for his stunt, he wouldn't have gone out to dinner with Ushiwaka, he wouldn't have drunk so much wine, he wouldn't have found him almost pleasant when they got to dessert, he wouldn't have gotten into the same taxi, he wouldn't have set foot in his house , he wouldn’t...</p><p>“Shit!”</p><p>You're an idiot, Oikawa Tooru. A fucking <i>idiot</i>!</p><p>He decided to postpone for the moment. He would have had time to insult himself and regret his poor self-control. By now the damage was done and he could not go back. He was a grown man, they both were, so he would come out of that room, confront Ushijima and make it clear that that mistake, as such, would not repeat itself.<br/>
Sure, he had abs as hard as marble and remarkable physical stamina — truly remarkable — but there was a limit to everything.</p><p>He left the bedroom, down the hall to the living room. It was empty and silent. Was Ushijima already out? How dare he leave him like this without even a greeting or saying good morning? What a rude, windbag–</p><p>“Tooru, is that you? I'm in the kitchen if you want to join me.”</p><p><i>Oh</i>.</p><p>“Arrogant of you to assume I want to stay for breakfast.” Tooru muttered, leaning one shoulder against the door jamb.</p><p>“I just said I was in the kitchen and you could join me, that's all.” Ushijima answered with a small smile, his eyes fixed on the pan where, judging by the smell, bacon was frying.</p><p>Oikawa would have responded in kind, had he not realized just now that the only garments of the other were boxers and an apron.<br/>
Unfair, he thought with his eyes glued to the expanse of wriggling muscles on his back. Terribly unfair. How could he stay focused and determined when he was in front of… that?</p><p>His stomach chose that moment to grumble in the least elegant way possible, making him feel ashamed like a thief.</p><p>He pretended not to hear Ushiwaka's choked chuckle and took his seat at the table, noisily dragging the chair across the floor.<br/>
“Okay, I'll keep you company. But only this once, it won't happen again!”</p><p>“What an honor.” Ushijima commented, finishing serving the freshly cooked and inviting smelling food, then joining him at the table with placemats, cutlery and plates.</p><p>Bacon, scrambled eggs, toast.<br/>
Oikawa's stomach made itself heard again, a pathetic and whining sound.</p><p>“This stuff makes you fat.”</p><p>“I really don't think you need to worry about it. I've had all night to look for it and I haven't found a drop of fat on you.” Ushijima replied with a mischievous light in his olive eyes, attacking the bacon with a fork and knife.</p><p>Oikawa felt catapulted into an alternate reality where Ushijima was the cool and sexy one, while he was the dork who gasped instead of responding in kind. What the hell was going on?</p><p>“Who the hell are you? Ushiwaka's smart twin?” He questioned him, narrowing his eyelids and pointing his fork at him.</p><p>“I am an only child, Tooru. And I've always been like that, but you've never talked to me for more than a minute.”</p><p>“Don't call me Tooru!” Oikawa protested in a shrill voice, like a child caught red-handed  trying to change the subject in order not to admit his guilt.<br/>
Was it a crime to be a little superficial?</p><p>“Okay, Toto then.”</p><p>Oikawa rolled his eyes. “Okay, fine.”</p><p>Ushijima smiled like an idiot, apparently pleased with that little achievement, and Oikawa tried hard not to find him attractive.<br/>
He bit into a forkful of bacon and eggs, letting out a moan of appreciation. He hated having to admit it, but that gorilla cooked divinely.</p><p>“If you make such sounds, you test my self-control, <i>Toto</i>.”</p><p>Oikawa gave him a poisonous look.<br/>
“Hey, let's get this straight: you and I are neither friends nor secret lovers or anything of the sort. Not a word of the fact that we fucked, with <i>anyone</i>. Understood? And obviously forget an encore, not even in two thousand years. Not even in twenty thousand!”</p><p>“You didn't seem to have this opinion when you were asking me to do it harder.” Ushijima replied, amused.</p><p>“Another word and I will castrate you, animal.” Oikawa hissed, his mouth full of that heavenly food.<br/>
Ushijima had to thank his cooking skills if he hadn't yet come out with a theatrical scene of his own, slamming the door behind him. It was solely and exclusively because of that. He certainly hadn't stayed in that house for his stupid company. Absurd.</p><p>“And give me a glass of something to drink, otherwise how am I going to eat more bacon? You are a horrible host.”</p><p>Ushijima shook his head, barely biting his lip, and poured him a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice.</p><p>“You look cute in my shirt.”</p><p>Oikawa used his fork as a small catapult, throwing him a bullet of scrambled eggs.</p><p>“I. Will. Castrate. You.”</p><p>Ushijima laughed, but at least he had the decency not to answer.<br/>
Oikawa found him handsome with his features relaxed with laughter. Beautiful and perhaps less… robotic than usual.<br/>
Maybe…</p><p>Maybe it was time to go home, take an ice cold shower and forget everything.<br/>
Yes, that's how it would go.<br/>
<i>Absolutely</i>.</p><p> </p><p>• • •</p><p> </p><p>“Is there something you want to tell me, Tooru-kun?” Suga addressed him with an angelic air, the portrait of fake innocence.</p><p>“No, not really.” Oikawa lied.</p><p>“So there is no correlation between the fact that you missed the fan meeting and that you arrived at rehearsals — <i>late</i> — accompanied by Toshi?” The agent insisted, just arching an eyebrow.<br/>
It was the expression that Oikawa had personally labeled "imminent danger, run for cover".</p><p>“Uh, it’s so hot in here! I’ll go  get a bottle of water, bye~!”</p><p>As he walked quickly away, cold sweat running down his spine, he heard Suga's invectives chasing him down the hall.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is something I wrote in Italian first (as always, since it's my first language) and then translated with the help of a a dusty old dictionary, Google Translate and a good cup of coffee.<br/>If you find any errors or want to make suggestions to improve my English, feel free to tell me!<br/>Any comment is appreciated~</p></blockquote></div></div>
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